Though I lack your power, I will still persist.

I was going to write a post, but the copy of Final Fantasy IX that I bought on eBay at the weekend just turned up.

BRB playing forever.

Like a good amount of the UK (if the trending topics on Twitter are anything to go by) I was going to watch Spirited Away earlier. But after a while I found that I couldn't understand what was going on because only half of the dialogue was subtitled.

In a way, I feel like I shouldn't complain: I ended up watching most of My Neighbor Totoro on another channel (I missed the beginning of it), and it was just beautiful and I probably would have never watched it otherwise (and as it was in Japanese, I didn't have to worry about subtitles, because it was shown with subs for an English-speaking audience!). But at the same time, I really would have liked to watch Spirited Away and been able to understand and enjoy it as much as someone who could hear all the dialogue. Which is pretty much the point of subtitles, right?

Thing is, I don't know where the problem is: the problem could be with my TV/cable box, or with my cable company, or with the broadcasters. If I watch something on normal TV (i.e.: not using the cable box), I can't have subtitles, so I can't rule out any of the three on my own. What I need is to hear from other people in the UK who regularly use subtitles when watching TV to see if they have had similar problems. Only I don't think I actually know anyone who does.

This doesn't happen often and it's only something I've noticed on the BBC channels (but that's probably because the subtitles on those channels are generally quite good, and I do watch a great deal of their stuff). The last time I remember it happening was during the most recent season of Merlin - it happened so much through the first few episodes that I just gave up trying to watch it at all. It might have happened since then, but it's only something that I'd remember if it happened during something I really wanted to watch at the time. I nearly always have the subtitles switched on and the way my cable box is set up means that it's pretty obvious when the subtitles are being switched off/on.

I don't know what to do about this.



In other news, the big cookies I made while playing FFX yesterday are lovely - I've eaten the caramel cookies (caramel flavoured with bits of caramel wafer), which were delicious but turned out a little more like a flattish cake than a cookie. I ignored the recipe's instruction of "do not flatten before cooking" for the second batch (chocolate chunk) which turned out much more cookie-like - that said, I probably went a little too far when I flattened them again halfway through the cooking time (you can still see the marks from the spatula I used to flatten them with!), but you live and learn. Also, I'm not sure that they're quite as good as the cupcakes I made last week while playing Devil May Cry, but it's difficult to tell, because the cupcakes no longer exist. Not that the cookies are expected to last much longer. Which is pretty bad seeing as I'm by myself this weekend (and possibly most/all of next week). Also, choosing between cookies and cupcakes is ridiculously difficult thing to do anyway. You'd have to be a really horrible person to make people choose between the two.



Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find the bottle of washing up liquid that I've somehow managed to lose today.

What have I been doing lately that has stopped me from updating? Not much really, although quite a bit of it has involved re-playing Final Fantasy X and trying not to destroy my PS2 in the process.

Let's just say that me and FFX aren't friends right now, and leave it at that.

The other day, I found an old CD that someone sent to me years ago which had some of the tracks from Final Fantasy IX. How it has survived this long is beyond me.

But, oh! I've been reminded that FFIX really is the game of my heart. ( Musings about the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack )

So not much has been going on, except I got some new clothes the other day. Anyone want to see some terrible photos? ( Warning: these photos are bad. )

PS: If you're interested in femslash, please check out my 30 Days of Femslash rec posts on Tumblr!

Things I have done since this time last week that I can maybe be a little happy about (and probably would have made posts about at the time if I hadn't been so busy/tired):

• Was even more useful than I normally am at volunteering
• Tried not to back down during conversations just because people didn't want to hear what I was saying (I may have failed, but I did try)
• Sat through Avatar, even though I didn't actually want to, because I knew it would make someone else happy (I knew about the issues, but no-one warned me about how boring and predictable it was)
• Ordered a copy of Final Fantasy X-2 for myself as a present, and still don't feel guilty about it
• Saw myself in the mirror while only in my underwear and did not cringe
• Allowed myself to sleep for longer when I really needed to

[Edit] Also, I started myself a thread in dingsi's You're So Sexy meme, so that you can give me compliments and stuff tomorrow, if you so desire. Or you could start your own thread so I can compliment you, which is why I'm mentioning it in the first place.
(I'm totally using it as an exercise in how to take compliments - I'm pretty sure that's not what it's there for, but I need to learn to do that before I can use it as something to make me feel good about myself on bad days. Baby steps.)

Most of Tuesday was spent (re)playing Final Fantasy XII, and trying to work out where my new-found cold had come from.

Most of Wednesday was spent reading TV Tropes while trying to do other things. Of course, when I went to bed, I didn't have anything else to do, so I read TV Tropes solidly from 9pm to 6am. I only got through the list of gaming tropes.

Yesterday, after two hours sleep, I went back to Final Fantasy XII, but left my phone upstairs so I wouldn't end up reading TV Tropes again. I also watched some stuff, and made food to put in the freezer. By the time I actually got online, I was so tired I couldn't type and was beyond making sense anyway.

A full night's sleep later, I both feel like hell and don't make much sense. And I have to go to volunteering today, which is going to be funny as all hell, because the cold has blocked my ears up and I can hear even less than usual. And all I wanna do is sleeeeeeeeeeep, but I need to go in the bath before volunteering, and sleeping in the bath is a bad idea (don't do it kids!), so I guess I'll have to caffeine my way through the day, which will be fun because I don't react normally to caffeine, as anyone who has ever seen me on caffeine will be able to tell you, and me being tired while on caffeine (which, at this point, doesn't even look like a word anymore) is probably enough to get me arrested, considering how hyper I get when I'm forcing myself to be awake when I'm tired, and this is getting to be a long sentence, so I'll put a full stop here.

So yes, that's why I've not been around lately.

You know what eats up all your internet time? Deciding to re-play Final Fantasy 12. Because I'm that clever.

Other than that, not much has happened. I got a parcel from red_trillium on Tuesday, which was wonderful, thanks so much! Everyone loves the bandana, because it is pretty.

I'm at leanwellback and fizzyblogic's for the weekend, which has mostly involved being floored by how adorable their cat is. Because he is that adorable. Really.

Ummm... That's all I can think of right now. Probably because I haven't had breakfast yet. I should do that.

I was going to talk about all the gender-related fail I've come across in the last few days, but then I came across this macro and, magically, everything's better:


^_^

Also, you know what? Signing up for areyougame was a Bad Idea. Or at the very least, I should have stuck with the one prompt that I was sure I could do something with. Even that one didn't get much of a reception (although I'm about to link to it in every community that I can think of, and have already managed to get it included in the Transfic master list, which proves that I'm good at selling stuff at least), and I'm still unsure if "very interesting" is a compliment or not. I'm also going to link the hell out of the third fic I posted there, for reasons of MOAR GIRLSLASH - Final Fantasy XII has many pretty (and easily slashable) boys, so the girls seem to get left out. Or at least, that's how I see it. I'm hoping that no-one ever finds the second fic I posted to that community, because it was awful and should be allowed to die with some dignity, so I won't be linking to that, ever.

Not bad going, you're probably thinking. Yet I've just had to give up on the other two prompts I claimed (don't worry, I told the mod, although there doesn't seem to be any precedent for it in that community o.o), because I can't get them to work at all. And one of them was my own freaking prompt, so it's not like I haven't had time to work on it.

I'm just frustrated, you know? I would like, for once, just to get through a full fic challenge without having to apologise to the mods for not completing everything (or not completing it at all in one case). Either that or I should learn to accept that I am not made for fic challenges, and learn to just write my own ideas at my own pace.

And I have lots of ideas. Oh man, do I.

( Specific fic bunnies )

( Vague fic ideas )

So, do you have any fic ideas going on right now that you'd like to talk about?

There were loads of things I was meant to do this weekend. None of them happened.

In a vague attempt at fixing this, here's my to do list for this week:

• Go to the volunteering interview at the Hospice (2 June - 1:30pm)


• Write a review for gay_also_means_happy¹


• Stop listening to See My Baby Jive by Wizzard on repeat every time I go on the computer


• Get rid of Resident Evil: Outbreak²


• Attempt to find a copy of Gitaroo Man for the PS2


• Go to James and Patrick's at the weekend


• Choose which film to buy next from my Gay Films To Buy List


• Catch up with the banners at fortycakes


• Write the last part of my fic for fortycakes


• Buy something to help with the hayfever I've somehow ended up with this year

I think we all know that I'll actually be lucky just to remember to do half of this. Oh well.



¹You'd think that, with owning a DVD of D.E.B.S, I'd be doing a review of that. I might yet do so, but I could probably write a better review of But I'm A Cheerleader or The Birdcage, which I haven't seen in months. I last watched D.E.B.S on Sunday - it shouldn't be that difficult to write a review for, but it somehow is, and it's driving me nuts.
²It's a good game, but I'm not good enough in that genre to actually finish the game 100%, which is also driving me nuts. But then again, I got it for £3 from a charity shop, so I can't complain.

I ended up getting my mobile phone's internet cut off last night.

Really, it's for my own good - I can't afford to keep it. I'm meant to pay £60 this month when without internet that sum would be ~£35. I don't think I even have £60 to spare this month, and that's before I even think about getting a winter coat.




I have, however, finished mucking around with my layout. Finally. Which means I can finally get on with those icons I want to damn well finish. Or, you know, keep playing Final Fantasy 12 until I've renamed all the Espers. Adrammelech is still the Mega Ultra Chicken.




Note to self: Girly TMI filter. NOW.

I may have watched too much Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series and played too much LEGO Batman this weekend at Jay and James' place. So much of the latter that I really really want this, or at least just the Harley figure. Because hitting LEGO people over the head with a giant mallet? Huge amounts of fun.

I wouldn't be surprised if James told me he wanted this. Ages 7-12 my backside.

Other than that, not much more I can say, other than why do people insist on having Christmas lights up this early?


[Edit] I actually had a lot more to say, but computer time ran out. So I will say it now.

I'm officially spending Christmas with Jay and family. Well, semi-officially, I haven't told my parents this yet. I just need a Christmas where I'm not constantly feeling torn between different parts of my own family, and get to do whatever I want. And that includes making gingerbread and Christmas cake. And flapjacks. Because I'm Batman I can.

It's probably going to upset my parents a bit, but I really don't think I could survive a Christmas with my family this year. I know that sounds harsh, but split-family Christmases are not fun. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

I think I've finally caught up on most comments¹, but there's a good chance I've missed some because I'm not all that clever. I've already started taking some pictures that people suggested from that post, and will post them either tomorrow or Thursday, because the library is shut on Wednesday for training or something.



¹But not those to the really horrible entry. I just can't.

Super Sekrit Note to Jay and James: Go here, and read the section Harley & Ivy. Last section of that section. Even Paul Dini agrees.