Though I lack your power, I will still persist.

I've just realised that I haven't updated in a while (mainly because I haven't felt up to it), so here's a quick rundown of things that have happened.

• Finished queuing all the posts for my Secret September Tumblr Project (titled 30 Days of Femslash).
• Made a Lush bubble bar, which I gave to someone who had the same birthday as me.
• Turned 24.
• Bought a box set (20 episodes, 3 discs) of Chip 'n' Dale's Rescue Rangers, then watched the whole thing within three days.
• Went to volunteering and survived.
• Wrote 3 ficlets (all femslash, one of which involved bloodplay, which I've never written before/done at all, so it's probably rubbish) - posted all three at angelikittentreats.
• Realised that angelikittentreats is an awful name for my fic/creative community.
• Listened to a lot of 80's music. And I mean a lot.

Also, having just received a Christmas catalogue through the door, I've realised that I have no idea what holidays/anniversaries you all celebrate. So, time for a poll!

[Note: "religious/cultural holidays" refers to the sort of thing that is celebrated by larger amounts of people at around the same time (i.e: Christmas, Winter Solstice). "Personal anniversaries" are days that are special to you (like birthdays, relationship anniversaries, etc.). If you can't answer this poll, you can always email me at angelikitten[at]dreamwidth.org]

[Note #2: If you want me to send you a card or an email or something on any of your personal anniversaries, I'll need to know the relevant date(s) - I can google the dates for the cultural/religious ones if I don't know them, so don't worry about that.]

I've just seen my Grandad (and his dog) off to the train station.

Basically, he's going off to see my mother (his daughter) and that bit of the family for about a week, maybe more. Which means that I'm going to be completely alone in the house for about a week, maybe more.

Meep.

I've known about this since Sunday, so I decided to be extra nice to myself so that I wouldn't get all stressed before he left. Stress does nothing for my anxiety. Neither does the fact that I'm half-deaf and live in a mid-terrace house - all those tiny noises that come through the walls terrify me, because I can't tell that they're coming through the walls and I end up convinced that someone else is in the house. And with how bad my memory is, I end up panicking at that point because I won't remember whether I've locked the door or not. And because of some strange things going on in my brain, I will end up convinced that whoever has come through the door and is now in my house is here is hurt me.

Which is why this would be a very bad time for some bodyfail.

You know where this is going.

Basically, after messing up my back at the end of last year, my doctor told me to stop using my walking stick in January because I might "get too dependant on it" (actual quote). So I did, and I did reasonably okay without it - I couldn't do as much as I could when I was using it, but I wasn't in ridiculous amounts of pain either. Fast forward to this week. I've been into town twice this week, and my back has gone within ten minutes both times.

When I was using my stick, I could still walk when my back went. Today I had to limp in stages to the bus stop, occasionally stopping to lean against a convenient wall. Of course, I was inside one of the shopping centres when it went, and the only seating in there is in the cafes/etc. Also, the shopping centre staff don't like it if you end up sitting down on the floor outside one of the shops, no matter how close to screaming in pain you are.

(That said, the staff at Lush aren't too bothered if you just sit down in their shop, and will even bring you water if you look like you're going to pass out. A+, would collapse there again.)

Anyway, the point of this is that I was thinking (this morning, before all this happened) about asking people when the right time is to ignore what your doctor says you should do (i.e. not using my walking stick) in favour of doing what your body needs you to do (i.e. using my walking stick). Except that now that post would be useless, because I'm pretty sure I've found that point.

(Bonus useful fact #1: I didn't gain any weight over the time I was using my stick before, even though that period of time included Christmas and New Year. I have gained weight since I stopped using it, mainly because I haven't been able to do as much without it.)

(Bonus useful fact #2: I may have the world's lowest pain tolerance threshold type thing, but that might be because ( of something that is almost certainly TMI and involves much swearing )

.)




Okay, I promise my next entry will be something a little more... well, not positive exactly. But something more thinky and less ranty, because I am slightly confused. But it's not negative. Does that even make sense?

So, some good things about today:

1. I love the smell of Snow Fairy in the morning.

2. I looked in my purse earlier, and realized that I have three 10% off Lush vouchers. Those'll come in useful.

3. The fireworks shop is open again - it's only ever properly open around this time of year, and it always looks cool.

4. I saw fairy lights earlier and didn't cry. I should probably write a post about why I do that at some point, but not right now.

5. Even though it's raining outside, it was warm enough earlier that I could walk around without a jacket on.

6. I got mostly caught up with comments earlier \o/

So, finally, a rundown of the last few days \o/

Anyway, after a long night of worrying about the psychological evaluation (that I thought was on Thursday and isn't actually until next month, because I'm that clever), I ended up going into town to apply for that job at Lush. What I actually did was applied for the job and then flirted like hell with the only member of staff in the shop, which lead to me buying a bar of Vanilla in the Mist soap. The flirting was probably a bad idea, but I love the soap. Especially since it was really warm, and VitM is surprisingly refreshing.

Friday meant volunteering, and it was a little hectic. I loved it like you wouldn't believe. I've missed being that busy and still have people trust me that I'll get things done, even if I was working right up until closing and nearly made everyone late leaving. I also left my hat there, and broke my sunglasses on the way home, just to add a little bit of fail to the day.

Today I... fixed the sunglasses. What normal person fixes a pair of £1 sunglasses anyway? Anyway, I did that and then went out in search of lipstick, because I have to "make an effort" for my brother-in-law's 30th at the beginning of next month. I'm pretty sure what this actually means is "try to look pretty and girly, and don't make a damn fool of yourself". Not something I'm actually any good at, and not something that I'm exactly comfortable with, but it's his party and why make a fuss when I won't be seeing most of the people there for a few months afterwards? Besides, I've been acting like a girl when I haven't felt like one for most of my life, I can do it for one night, right?

So, now I now own an actual lipstick. A shade of brown, because every other lipstick shade in Boots made me look horribly pale - I have huge permanent bags under my eyes, so pale is a bad look for me. 7 years, and I still have no idea how to make them less obvious. Oh well.

Anyway, not done much, obviously.

As some of you may already know, I woke up this morning having forgotten something of pretty major importance. I'm pretty much used to this by now, but it's normally things like my name, or what town I'm living in. It doesn't normally involve waking up and then panicking about the fact that I have breasts.

In light of this, maybe now is a good time to tell you some of the stuff that it might be useful for you to know about me, just in case I forget it at any point.

• I like white marshmellows more than pink ones, cats more than dogs, and diet coke more than regular coke. I refuse, however, to take part in the marmite argument.



• ( And 14 other equally useless things to remember... )
  
  
  Wow, that's a lot of footnotes O.O

I feel terrible after yesterday's post. Seriously. Even after talking to several people about it in great depth, I still manage to feel horrible about it. But we did manage to work out that my brain just doesn't function the same way as anyone else's, so. That might be a reason for it.

I also went to bed wearing Superman colours, which always make me feel like I should wake up and end up being Superbitch.

( No, seriously. I did... )

Oh, and a question: why does Lush's Snow Fairy make such a good shampoo?

Seriously, I just finished all three of the Phoenix Wright games. It would have gone alot quicker if I hadn't have lost the first one for a month. And now I have to wait till 9th May(?) for the Apollo Justice game, which gives me a good while to finish Final Fantasy 3 & Revenant Wings. Just a bit to do.

In other news, Dara O' Briain IS coming to Middlesbrough. This I must get a ticket for. I must also find where I put my Frankie Boyle ticket...

Lush products are brilliant. I can't stop smelling my own hair, which might not be such a good thing.

Oh, and I need to make more bread. My granddad's eaten most of the loaf I made last night.

So. Today...

I woke up at 8:50am, wondering why I couldn't hear anyone doing anything. I lay there feeling just immensely calm. It was nice.

Got up at 9:00am. Got crashed into by Lissy at 9:01am. Got my legs distangled from her arms by 9:03am.

The present opening went well, starting with the presents my sisters opened upstairs and later (when mum and Chris (their dad) had got up) the ones downstairs from various family members. I opened my three, very slowly, with them downstairs.

The first (from my Grandad) is a pink denim bag. It's small but holds quite alot (including a big box of Cadbury's Roses, tested this afternoon by taking some to my sister's house this afternoon), so it's forgiven for being pink. Inside the bag was a hat, which I will have to take a picture of for people to appriciate. Seriously.

The second is from my Auntie Fiona and is a lovely jewellery box.

The third is the slightly infamous 'yellow present' from my dad and stepmum. It turned out to be orangey-yellow and from Lush. 'Happy Hippy' shower gel, 'Lemslip' body butter and a smiley-face soap (yes, with a smiley face on it).

By 9:55am I was back in bed crying my eyes out. I lasted less than an hour before feeling down again. I spent over half an hour laid there just trying to get it all out.

By the time I got back downstairs everyone else was ready to go out to Chris's mum's house. After they left I had a bath with the Lush stuff while listening to positive, encouraging K-Love, which made me feel alot better (Cross Rhythms was having a discussion and I decided that was a bad idea).

My dad picked me up to go to my sister's house at 1:25pm. Lots of food and my sister made profiteroles ^_^ She also gave me some Bucks Fizz and a few chocolates for Christmas. And then I came home and ate some mince pies for no apparent reason (and started to drink the Bucks Fizz, which has so far taken over an hour.

And now Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone is just finishing as I'm writing this.

So yeah, that's been my Christmas.